Secrets I Cannot Tell
by Plushietiger
Summary: Raine realizes her slight admiration had turned to love and Kratos fights his feelings on the belief that he would never make her happy and his redemption may never come. He has to make a decision though when something happens to Raine. HIATUS


Secrets I Cannot Tell 不能说的秘密

Tadah! A Jay Chou songfic!

I really love this song and it's from the movie Secret which is my favorite romance movie of all time. Go check it out at ! When I read the translated lyrics (I don't understand Chinese) I immediately thought of the pairing Kraine because it suits it so well! Note: the song is originally chinese, there is no english version. Expect more Jay Chou songfics in the future. His lyrics are fantastic and his voice even better. Sorry if this fic sounds familiar to anything, I haven't read all the Kraine fics. **IMPORTANT! The song lines refer to the story part before it.**

This is actually a 2 part fic and there is more details on the bottom.

Disclaimer: I do not own Tales Of Symphonia, only the mass produced highly popular Gamecube version. I also do not own the song Bu Neng Shuo De Mi Mi (Secrets I cannot tell). Oh and let's also add in I don't own Jay Chou's music or him (though I would love to…)

…………………….:D……………………

Raine sat beside the window staring at the drab gray sky, which exactly matched her mood currently. After the group had defeated Mithos, the group stayed fairly intact with the exception of Regal, Presea and **him.** He disappeared like he always had, like a cool breeze on a summer day, uplifting but always continued its journey making the person even more prone to the heat. Kratos had actually stayed for a while and had talked with Raine many times about, everything. From books to grass to food to life, he always had a respectable opinion on everything and always understood her. Raine's thoughts wandered randomly as the time passed and she gazed silently at the sky.

**The cold coffee leaves the coaster  
I hold my feelings very far back**

Kratos was also staring at the sky but on the other side of the world, yet the distance didn't matter it was already too far from her. The girl that changed his whole world, his whole perspective of life practically from the way she had affected him. As his thoughts wandered to a memory of Raine's smile his mouth unwillingly followed and he smiled softly at his sweet recollection. His thoughts darkened though as he remembered all he had done. She didn't deserve someone like him. With countless stains of taken lives on his hands and a betrayal to them? A betrayal to his son?! Kratos shook his head softly and sadly. He had no right to ruin her happiness, the happiness she truly deserved. For once his face showed emotions freely after Anna's death and it was only because of Raine, only for Raine. He wanted to change. Always he had tried to atone for his sins but he knew there were many things that just could not be forgiven. His desolate face turned towards the sky "_the same sky Raine is under_..." he murmured softly.

**I work hard wanting to get the past back  
You can still see it as always clearly on my face**

The Rain softly fell as the clouds seemed happy to let go of their burdens. Raine caught her reflection through the window and frowned at herself. To herself she was nothing special, nothing amazing except maybe her intelligence but who looked at that? Does **he** look at that? In everything else Raine knew she couldn't compare to Anna, the one Kratos would always love and never forget. Never. What could Kratos ever see in her? She admitted her figure was not horrible but it was not amazing and beautiful. Her face was average and she slowly pulled back her hair to reveal her slightly pointed ears and flinched. She was a half-elf and always would be one. He was a human, perhaps not a full one but a human nevertheless! Who would approve of a Half-elf and a human? The word inferior surfaced in her thoughts and she shook her head softly to try to clear it away. Inside her protected thoughts she wanted to be anywhere near Kratos. Anywhere in the world as long as it was next to him. Pressing her hand against the delicate glass she recoiled slightly from the cold. But she knew, she would always know that the glass could also be warm.

**The most beautiful thing wasn't the rainy day  
It was the eaves that you and I once took shelter under from the rain**

Kratos would always remember Anna but... feelings surfaced a long time ago for the fiery woman who could also be sweet and would always be caring. The memories of Raine continuously plagued his dreams that started out with her just being her but in the end she would be hurt and scarred by his past.

_Dreams are evil to my sanity_ Kratos pondered as he was slowly getting more and more frustrated at himself for thinking the idea of Raine with him, over and over again. Raine was beautiful in his eyes, and most of the human population. She was just blind to her own traits and would be until someone would show her. Kratos cursed himself again as he immediately longed to be that someone who would love her and show her how amazing she was.

**The images of our memories  
As I'm swinging on the swing  
The dream starts to not be sweet  
**

Raine stepped away from the window and remembered where she was. Lloyd was currently talking with his father and Colette dozing in a comfy chair. Genis was reading a huge leather bound tome she had recently bought for him as a birthday surprise present. Smiling sadly her thoughts wandered back to the party. Everyone had shown up, no matter how busy they were, but not him. The party was lighthearted and everyone was overjoyed to see each other again but was disappointed by Kratos's absence. After a while everyone else had gradually pushed it to the sides of their mind for Genis's sake but Raine was unable too. All through the celebrations she was distracted and her smile wasn't as bright as it could be. She had a cough and a cold but she ignored it though the whole day, only once running outside and coughing her lungs out. The only mishap was part of the cake landing in Lloyd's face after Colette tripped and Genis falling out of a tree he seemed to have attempted to climb for some strange reason. Raine reverted back to the present and slipped outside to escape where there were many memories. Unfortunately she landed in front of Anna's grave and broke down.

"Why?!" Raine screamed as her hands pounded on the wet earth in anger.

"Why are you always going to be in his heart?! Why can't I ever be good enough to be able to even be remembered?! Does he even ever think about me...?" she sobbed the last words and collapsed unconscious onto the cold hard ground.

**You say gradually let go of love  
Then you will walk farther  
Why go changing  
The time that has already been missed  
**

Kratos wandered outside of the hotel he was staying in. The rain continued to fall around him as he remembered the time he had left. It had taken all his strength that time not to turn back around and go back to everyone especially Raine.

_Kratos was walking away after everyone except one when he heard a sweetly familiar voice._

"_Kratos you're leaving?" Raine's voice questioned with a lonely undertone._

"_I... have to go." Kratos replied as cold as he could with his back still facing her._

"_..Why?"_

_That one single word shook Kratos's entire being like no other words ever heard and he started to tremble slightly as his determination wore down._

"_It's nothing you need to know" _

_Kratos's chilling voice struck Raine like a stab to her soul. She turned slowly away slightly with tears running down her face. Breaking into a run Raine quickly disappeared from Kratos's sight and he stood incapably still._

"_Raine..." Kratos whispered to the wind as he took all of his will power to fly away from her and not chase things he did not deserve._

Kratos soaked in the wet rain in his own world until he sensed something coming near.

**You use your fingertip  
To stop me from saying goodbye  
I imagine you by my side  
Before I completely lose you  
**

"Raine? Raine?!" Genis yelled out into the air as he peered around to look for rain through the almost impenetrable rainfall.

"Raine where are you?!" Genis yelled before spotting a dark fallen form on the ground.

"Raine!" Genis ran forward through the rain to arrive to see his sister unconscious on the ground and soaking to the bone. Her forehead was burning hot and her breaths were coming out haggard and close to gasps. Genis hated it but he ran back quickly to the house and shouted "Lloyd! Colette! Something's wrong with Raine! Help me bring her back inside!" Lloyd quickly appeared with his face inscribed with worry and Colette not far behind. Genis nodded quickly to both of them and quickly dashed out into the rain.

"Professor!" Colette yelled worriedly as she tried to help Lloyd and Genis carry her but it was futile. The three hurridly ran back into the cottage to find that Dirk had already prepared a bed for her and was waiting for them to comeback. Colette shoved the men into the other room and she change Raine's wet clothes (not her underclothes) and rushed them back in when she was done. What can we do?! Lloyd whispered worriedly to the rest in order to not burst Raine's eardrums while she was unconscious.

"I don't know… we need to wait until Raine wakes up or says something I guess… It doesn't seem to be only a fever since her breathing is really raggard. " Genis said sadly. Suddenly Raine murmured the word that would change her life and his forever.

"Kratos..." her tone was laced with loneliness and longing.

All three of them eyes widened and stared at each other in shock.

"Why did Professor say Kratos's name?" Colette questioned the oh-so-obvious-question.

"Maybe... she misses him?" Genis tried but realized that her missing him may be more than friendship.

"It's not like anything's going on right?!" Lloyd panicked in his fear of his mother being forgotten and replaced. He was only answered with silence as Genis suddenly seemed to remember something.

"I'll be right back!" He shouted while he ran up the stairs, then there seemed to be a loud crash and fast-paced footsteps back down.

"You guys remember when I fell down the tree on my birthday right?!" Genis shouted as he rifled open the humongous tome that Raine had given him.

"Yeah... how does that have anything to do with this?!"

"Well the reason I climbed up there was because I saw Kratos!" Genis exclaimed while still searching for something. Shock was on Lloyd's and Colette's faces as Genis continued.

"He told me if anyone ever needed him then we should go... here!" Genis said with a proud smirk on his face for finally finding a small hexagonal card with a note scribbled on it and a mysterious symbol on the back.

"What?!" Lloyd said as he took the card from Genis's hand and looked at the card that said:

'This will only work for one person.'

"Kratos what are you thinking?" Lloyd murmured but then suddenly the card started to shine.

"What the-" Lloyd was cut off by the light swallowing him up and him suddenly disappearing.

**You say gradually let go of love  
Then you will walk farther  
Perhaps the lot of fate  
Only let us meet**

Kratos moved his hand to his sword and braced himself for whoever was coming.

"Lloyd?" Kratos said in disbelief as he saw his son appear in front of him.

"Dad I came here by that card you gave Genis! Why didn't you show up to everyone though, they all miss you!"

"More importantly Lloyd why are you here?!"

"Professor Sage suddenly collapsed and she said you're name..." Lloyd said the last words with confusion and suspicion. Kratos stayed silent but his cold mask seemed to crack a bit.

"Dad... are you going to replace mom?"

Kratos was in shock but quickly tried to recover.

"Lloyd... no one can replace your mother" he said with definite confidence.

"but that does not stop me from falling in love..." Kratos murmured to himself but Lloyd caught it.

"Do you love Professor Sage dad?! Are you just going to throw away mom's memory?!"

Kratos stayed silent in confusion as he tried to think of what to say to his son.

"I... do not know."

"Dammit dad answer me! Listen to yourself!" he screamed as he grabbed Kratos's shirt in anger.

"If you keep going at this rate Professor will get hurt! Whats with this confuseon?! What happened to the dad I know who always knew himself…?" by the last question Lloyd had calmed down and released his grip.

"Raine... deserved better than me Lloyd." Kratos answered, his mask completely shattered and his true thoughts revealed. Lloyd shook his head and held out the card.

"Dad... Professor isn't that weak right? Besides I think you've atoned long enough" Lloyd said with a sad smile on his face. Hearing those words from his son touched Kratos and finally convinced him that he may have atoned long enough for Anna's death. And maybe he should try to let himself love again. Kratos grinned slightly and Lloyd went inside the hotel to wait while Kratos went back inside the hotel to change quickly and pack his things up. The question was though, was he able to bring love back into his life?

**Only let us love each other  
For this one season of autumn  
I only discover after they float down  
The fragments of this happiness  
How am I going to pick them up?**

………………**.End of Part 1…………………….**

Woah! Never mind this is NOT a one-shot but is going to be a part one in a 2 part series. I have the PERFECT song yet again by Jay Chou to continue the story and I'm going t make it separate so:

it show's up more when you search for Kraine fics!

When the title of the story has the Chinese characters in it, it looks awesome and I don't want to waste the cool title of the next song.

I love Jay Chou and his songs! Go check out his biography at !

The second part will be separate so remember to put author alert, not story alert if you want the 2nd part!

I give the new Capricorn CD to my reviewers! XD


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